On Boyfriends.

Yesterday, I had a hard time sleeping because I kept thinking about how life is way too dramatic. I feel like I'm constantly in some war zone that with one word, will blow me up. Comments are exchanged, and then flames will start to be thrown, and someone always seems to get hurt in the end. And then somehow those thoughts went back to just why I don't have a boyfriend.

I've thought about it for a while; it's kind of odd for a girl of eighteen not to have had a boyfriend during this era of random hookups and young romance, but as much as I think about it, I've never had that real desire to have a boyfriend. I've never desired that passion, that connection that a relationship usually entails. In fact, I'm so satisfied with my life at this moment, that I'm afraid a boyfriend would ruin it. It's kind of funny because I didn't think I would feel this way. But, I guess, I just don't want to commit to someone. I want a friend, a person to chill with, but not someone who I have to see often, someone who I have any special feelings for.

I think deep down it all, I don't really care for romance. It's great for other people; I like hearing about how the relationship is going well, but I never want the happiness or the sadness that the couple has.

Now that I think about it, I've never really had any serious crushes. I mean, I'm not immune, there are guys that I used to like, guys who I thought were cute, but I've never had that "I want to date him" feeling. It's always been, "I wanna just hang out with him and if we can't, then whatever."

It's kind of funny because it's not like I've never thought about getting married and having a family. But whenever I think about it, I never think about the husband, but I end up thinking about kids and the family.. hmm, I don't know. It's kind of interesting.

Who knows? Maybe somewhere in the future, I'll have that desire to fall in love like all these other girls of my age. But for now, I'm really glad that I don't have drama in this part of my life.